Do you know you’re blocking your own success?

“You have a choice. You’ve always had a choice. It’s OK not to fit in. It’s OK to follow your own path and see where it leads rather than arranging your life to fit someone else’s concept of success. Figure that out, and you’ll find the adventure you’re looking for. Figure that out, and you’ll find happiness.” by Kate Luther

I came across an article about success. It spoke profoundly to me. I’ve always lived with fears and self-doubt. Kate Luther, who’s quote above, shared ways to overcome the negative mindset.

In our life we are surrounded by people we feel we can trust. Unbeknownst to us many of those people aren’t feeding our minds positively. Next thing you know you have all these preconceived notions about how life “should be”. When things don’t go like we want them we get down and disappointed and become depressed eventually giving up. We must never give up.

In this article, Kate goes into some details. She explains the reality of our mindset and how to overcome that.

Are you tired of not succeeding? Contact me for some coaching sessions to help iron out what you can do to be successful. We all like to succeed in life.

Emotional Self-Reliance

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This is a hard place for me. I’m pretty sure it is a hard place for many. We’re emotional beings. We learn from a young age to depend on others for what we need, including emotionally.

When others fail us we fall into the pit of despair, creating depression and being withdrawn and isolated.

All of those things are a bad place to be. I love how Leo Babauta describes and defines this in his article: Becoming Emotionally Self-Reliant. He offers some great options and questions to help us put our emotional health into perspective. Me included.

I’ve been going through this transformation, albeit awesome and wonderful, has it’s potholes and bumps along the way.

There’s nothing wrong with being emotional. It’s how we cope with it and handle it. Check out Leo’s post linked above and ask yourself the questions he offers. Get alone and do some soul searching. I do it often. Meditating/praying is awesome at centering me. Being centered is vital to our mental health.

Coaching offers assistance in clarifying our life’s journey. Contact me for coaching sessions or questions about coaching.

Self Confidence Habits

We’ve all seen those personal development articles and posts that give tips for living a better life to be a better you.

I came across Kate Luther‘s post linked below:

The 5 Habits You Must Break to Become More Self-Confident

To be honest, our habits are formed by our mindset. What kind of mindset do you have?

There are two major mindsets: fixed mindset and growth mindset. The fixed mindset holds you prisoner and holds you back. The growth mindset launches you forward.

Which mindset are you? Whichever you are determines your outcome in life. You are able to adopt a growth mindset.

Here’s some steps you can take to jump-start your new mindset:

  • Identify words, thoughts and actions that restrict you and keep you a prisoner.
  • Once you begin to identify these you’ll be in a state of transition and easily choose the growth mindset.

In order to make these changes you must believe you are able and believe in yourself to do it.

Growth mindset looks like this:

  • Thoughts of: Being intelligence, Being skillful, Being talented
  • Sounds like: “I know I have a choice and I will do something about it.” “I’m not perfect, I just work hard.”
  • Actions look like: Finding new ways that work, trying new things that are effective, reject what does not work, sustaining your moving forward path.

If you slip, just start where you are and keep going forward. It takes 28 days to create a new habit.

Are you ready to grow? What will you do next to grow?

If you need assistance contact me for some life coaching sessions.

Defining Yourself

Daily we’re faced with doubts, fears and all manner of negativity. It comes from all types of sources.

Don’t let other people define you. It’s not their life; it’s not their story. Live your own life, and write your own story. Define yourself. -Uknown

When faced with these challenges it’s hard to not allow it get to us. I go through this too. I was bullied for a very long time.

Bullies have issues too. The reason they are bullies is because they don’t know how to handle their issues. The way they handle their {monsters within} is to attack other people to try to control them.

When others see in you what they fear they fight back to try to block it out.

Watch this TEDx video and see an example of what this gal did to overcome her self doubt and bullying: How Do You Define Yourself? Click the link.

zig ziglar quote

Don’t give anyone permission to control you. Show them the door and send them on their way.

Some tips to help:

  1. Have a good support system around you.
  2. Look in the mirror each day and tell yourself, “This is going to be a good day!” and make it so.
  3. Do something positive for yourself and anyone who happens to cross your path in the process.
  4. As the quote goes: “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Be an example.

Please share your experience. Let others know they can get through it, because it has been done. Letting others know they’re not alone in all this is an encouragement and a hope to keep going.

New Years Goals

Smart GoalsWe’re well into January of our new year. How are you doing with your goals/resolutions?

Many people set new years resolutions. Many set new years goals. Many do a combo of the two. Many do none.

It’s great to have goals, aspirations and dreams. The challenge we face is just as my life coach trainer posted on her blog: “Can you be guided by your feelings?” We get all emotional about it.

In order to be successful in life we must be realistic. Have you ever gone somewhere with anticipation and high expectations then were let down because it all turned out less than what you expected? I have!

Our lives are the same way. We get an idea for something. We get excited and anticipate its outcome. We do one of these things:

  • Mentally picture it at the finish without any goals or effort to get it done.
  • Set goals to accomplish our idea without any forethought to get it done.

What’s wrong with these things?

“Good intentions don’t really matter if they don’t lead to good actions.” -Ash Sweeney

Being emotional and allowing our feelings to drive us is a disaster waiting to happen. So, what do we do you ask? This is what you do:

Setup S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Specific (and strategic):  Linked to position summary, departmental goals/mission, and/or overall School of Medicine goals and strategic plans. Be as specific as you can.  Answers the question—Who? and What?

Measurable:  The success toward meeting the goal can be measured.  Answers the question—How?

Attainable:  Goals are realistic and can be achieved in a specific amount of time and are reasonable.

Relevant (results oriented):  The goals are aligned with current tasks and projects and focus in one defined area; include the expected result.

Time framed:  Goals have a clearly defined time-frame including a target or deadline date.

Examples:

Not a SMART goal:
Author will improve their writing skills.
Does not identify a measurement or time frame, nor identify why the improvement is needed or how it will be used.

SMART goal:
The Department has identified a goal to improve communications with administrative staff by implementing an internal departmental newsletter.  Sally will complete a business writing course by January 2015 and will publish the first monthly newsletter by March 2015.  Sally will gather input and/or articles from others in the department and draft the newsletter for supervisor review, and when approved by supervisor, distribute the newsletter to staff by the 10th of each month.

It’s common to miss the intended target date. There’s nothing wrong with this as long as there’s action. Extend the date to fit the need. Just do not give up.

This is usually where emotions and feelings take over. We begin to feel down and upset that we’ve missed our deadline date. Don’t allow this to happen. Keep plugging away at it. Leaving your emotions on the sideline allows for you to make progress. It’s important to resolve within yourself that your negative inner voice will not take over. Set in place a series of positive affirmations that you can refer to when you begin to get down.

“Successful people in life or business push through their feelings and in some cases ignore them! They step out and do things despite how they feel.” –

It is important not to be so hard on yourself if you make a mistake.

Mistakes are just practice while you become proficient. Kimberly A Edwards
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Live audaciously! Be bold. Check your feelings/emotions at the door. Step into a new life with this new year.

I Will Fight

I Will Fight

This Christian life is not easy.

I have an Enemy that is real.
I face battles that feel overwhelming.
There are times when I’m tired and I want to give up.

I will fight.

I Will Fight is an audio track recorded by Pastor Steven Furtick to help you get focused and to prepare you for the challenges ahead. Download the free track and build it into your daily rhythm. Whether you’re getting ready to work out, to suit up for your next game, or you’re in the car in need of a quick lift, you have an unstoppable God whose strength and power can help you push through and continue the fight – no matter what you’re facing.

You need guidance to move forward? Contact me NOW for life coaching sessions! We’ll work together to help you move forward.

Mindset: Fat talk

What does your inner voice tell you?

Disclaimer: While I am not endorsing Special K, I do endorse the message being sent in the video.

Watch this video:

We’ve all been brought up listening to everyone and everything around us. That includes negative talk. It sends subliminal messages to us about ourselves. We then adopt those things we’ve seen and heard without realizing it.

We are not defined by our circumstances. We do not have to accept the negative feedback. We can fight it. We can trade the negative for positive.

Learn to reset your inner voice and mindset to a more positive mindset.

Contact me for some Life Coaching session today.

Motivation

Let’s get motivated

Restore your mind, body & soul

This video is powerful in that it challenges one to just get moving.

Do you struggle to just get out of bed each day? Watch this video.

When you feel stuck it’s time to get unstuck. What’s the obstacles in the way? Contact me to setup life coaching sessions to propel you to your dream. You don’t know what your dream is? Let’s work that out.

We all have a dream. I can help you come to know your dream.

Contact me NOW!

Tricks to Deal With People Who Offend You

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Life can throw us some curveballs.

Leo Babauta is the author of zenhabits and several publications.

Some days are better than others. Leo outlines three tricks on how to cope with interruptions in our life at the link I provided at the very beginning.Sometimes, ok, all the time, many people are just plain rude and obnoxious… like a toddler in their terrible two’s. Click zenhabits link above and read Leo’s post.